Change is often hard to accept. I don’t know why; I’ve learned through the years that change usually ends up bringing better. I’ve seen that this year. I spent most of last year afraid for the change that was going to take place for our family. Last Christmas I remember thinking I had to enjoy it, because change was coming and it would never be the same. You know what? I was right about part of that. Change did come, it wasn’t the same, it was better! This first semester of college has brought change for us. We have all changed. I started my masters degree. Jaclyn started her bachelors degree. She started the transition to life on her own. We started the transition to life without her at home. And guess, what? It was all good. This Christmas break has been one of the best yet. It was gift to have her home. It’s been gift to see her growth. More change will come and I am determined not to be afraid of it. Good things can come from change. I’m kind of excited to see what this year brings!
As I spend more time in contemplation, I am reminded of my grandfather. He was quite a character. He taught me many things. He taught me to swim by pushing me off the side of boat and telling me I should swim fast before the fish started biting me 🙂 He taught me how to seine for minnows. He taught me how to hunt. He taught me about bill doogeys. When he was talking fancy he called them sharp shooters. It wasn’t until I was married, and was laughed at by my sweet husband, that I realized the rest of the world referred to it as a spade. My grandfather was a piddler. He took his time enjoying life. I remember asking Papaw a question, or hearing others ask, and him responding with “well, let me ponder that”. Or, if it was really challenging, “well, that’s a real poser”.
As I am getting older and starting to view myself as an adult (yes, I might have been there before now, but it is really starting to sink in) I’m realizing that I am starting to ponder life more. Daily, I catch myself sitting in contemplation and just pondering what is going on around me in the world. Somedays, things are just real posers. I’m missing my papaw tonight. I wish he were he to pose life with me and ponder the beauty and the ugliness of life around me. However, if he was here, I’m thinking it would just be the beauty that we would be pondering. Papaw Jack was brilliant, but simple minded in so many ways. I don’t think I ever recall him speaking negative of anyone. (Wait, take that back, there was the year he pondered too much on a consiparcy involving Newt Gingrich, but I try to block that year from my memory!) So, Papaw Jack, this is for you. And for the rest of you, if you want to read the ponderings of a middle aged woman, go for it. It is simply just the thoughts that fill my mind…ponderings and posers.